Costco & the Argonauts

Today I found the Costco of my dreams.  

It was quite unexpected and a delightful surprise.  I stumbled into it while trying to avoid the congestion on the 5 Freeway North on my way home from an errand in the City of Commerce. I was zipping alongside the freeway on Telegraph Road when there it was - at the corner of Telegraph and Washington.  With its shiny new gasoline pumps, this Costco seemed like a deserted island set in the middle of a huge empty parking lot.  It called to me.  Cheap gas.....  No waiting....  Freeway adjacent....  My Siren sings to me in terms of saving time and money.  How could I resist its charms?

A few minutes later and all gassed up, I was ready to hit the road.  The freeway looked a little less packed so now would be a good time to continue my journey.  But as I drove through the parking lot on my way out, the Siren threw me another temptation - a front-row parking space bright with freshly painted lines blazing white against the new black pavement.  Never mind that the rest of the lot was empty - this was my lucky day! I was meant to come here! 

Cut to me flashing my Costco "Open Sesame" card to the guard stationed at the entrance.  He stepped aside and waved me in. But this was no ordinary Costco.  Instead of being assailed by a wall of flat screen TVs all shouting for my attention, I was gently greeted by gleaming displays of kitchen utensils and restaurant equipment.  Hold the phone - what is this?!  Tools?  Toools?  Like a parched man gulping at a waterfall, I started pitching measuring cups, silicon spatulas and oversized trays into my basket.  I needed them!  And such a deal!

But this store was full of surprises the biggest one being that besides the half-dozen checkers chit-chattering at the front of the store, nobody else was there.  An empty Costco!  How unusual. When does that ever happen?  "Hmmm.... I wonder why...", I started to ask myself but my mind immediately leaped to "Who cares?!  I can move without people jamming up the aisles while they sample yet another flavor of instant noodles! Yippee! Battle speed!"  

Now in any regular Costco the middle area is taken up with DVDs, clothes and patio furniture.  But this Costco seemed to be a specialized slimmed down version of the store, one catering specifically to restaurants and businesses. So there were no best sellers, no ab crunch machines, no Christmas decorations sharing space with the boogie boards.  Instead the center of this Costco was filled with stacks and stacks of sodas and drinks: Double gulp Arizona cans, fit little Red Bull cans, fierce-looking Monster cans, reliable Coke and steady Pepsi cans - all in every color and design imaginable.  Now anyone who knows me knows how cuckoo I go for soda can aluminum so as I stood in the middle of this empty Costco, surrounded by all these beautiful cans with their promise of "craftibility", I swear to God I heard the angels sing "LAAAAAAAAA..."  

Swear... to... God. 

Then it hit me, "I must be dead!  I've died and gone to heaven! I'm in heaven!  Ooohh....!"  And the lights grew brighter and the angels sang louder.  I kid you not.

But then an inner voice sliced through my moment of ephiphany and said "COSTCO?!  Your idea of heaven is an empty Costco?!  Carmen you are sooo demented."   

Now let me explain about this inner voice: I call it my "Jiminy Cricket voice".  Sometimes it sounds like my mother reminding me to drink water and to exercise.  Sometimes it sounds like my husband Bruce like when I catch myself driving too fast in an area known to be frequented by cops issuing tickets.  This voice warns me to slow down.  But sometimes my Jiminy Cricket voice sounds like my lil sis, Aliss who is so good at "dashing cold water" on me when I go too far into the absurd or the ridiculous.  

So just like that I was ripped from the grips of the Costco Siren and flung back onto the rocks of the present to find myself standing in the middle of the beverage section with the produce guy eyeing me warily while a worker with a push-broom scuttled hurriedly away.  "Wow. That was close!  Thanks lil sis Aliss - you saved my life.  One more second and I would have gone into the bright light",  I thought to myself as I steered my cart towards the checkout stands.  

When the checker asked how I liked the store the words came bursting out in a tumble, " WOWOWOW! This is the greatest Costco ever! Ever!"  Then he explained that it had been open since July and because it was a special "Business Costco", that they didn't get the crowds that regular Costcos got which is why it was so empty that morning. "Cooool... ",  I said, thanking him and vowing to make this special Costco part of my weekly grocery routine.  Even if it was 15 miles out of my way.  Because this is one awesome Costco.

• Costco
• 6333 Telegraph Road
• Los Angeles, CA  90040
• (800) 788-9968
  
• www.Costco. com
  

I must remember to tell my lil sis Aliss when I see her this weekend how her words of wisdom and clarity of vision pulled me from plunging over the precipice and into the unknown abyss. ;0)  "Carmen you are sooo demented."  Five seemingly simple little words but piercing and to the point.  I know she'll get a kick out of it - the lil sis keeping the big sis on track.  And besides in the back of my mind I guess I knew that I really wasn't dead and in heaven - heck, there'd have to be a bingo parlor too and all my loved ones laughing it up for me to believe that!